Chris Rock

Holy fuck it was awesome.
Chris Rock took a brand new stand-up act on the road after a long 4-year hiatus without a tour. I’ve seen all his other stand-up acts on either television or on CD and loved all of them. So naturally when I heard he was coming I jumped at the chance to get tickets to see him live. Although the cost initially seemed a little excessive (54 US / 74 CAN), after the show I can say with full confidence that it was worth every penny. To say that this show was laugh out loud funny would be an understatement. This show was an hour and forty-five minutes of non-stop hilarity. Rock’s act focused more on relationships than his other acts, most likely because in the last few years he has married and had a child. The other main topic was politics as well as the state of the nation. This show was completely awesome and if Chris Rock ever comes on tour again I suggest you go and see him- you won’t be disappointed. Here are some excerpts from the show:

I don’t cheat anymore. Not because I’m sick of cheating, but because I’m sick of getting caught. I know some of you guys out there right now on dates are with girls that you cheated on. I know what your saying to yourself too- “Come on Chris, shut up man, she just started acting nice to me again”.

America is good, bad and schizophrenic. Like for instance, a good thing that we do is we feed other countries that are starving. But the bad thing is that we WAIT until they are starving. Can’t we fucking feed them when they are just hungry? Why do we have to wait till they’re starving? We’re like- no we can’t feed them yet- they don’t have flies flying around their heads. We’re dropping 50-pound bags of food on 40-pound people!

Ain’t found no weapons of mass destruction, ain’t found Bin Laden, ain’t found Saddam. You know the pressure was on George Bush for a while. But then something else sidetracked the media’s attention. You know what I think. I think George Bush sent that white girl up to Kobe’s room cause he needed a diversion.

Now that I’m a father I realize that my top priority is my baby girl. My job is to make sure she doesn’t some day end up on the pole. Because you know if you’re a father and your daughter is a stripper- YOU FUCKED UP SOMEWHERE.

Black people waste more money than any other race of people. We put rims worth thousands of dollars on any piece of shit car. Fuck we’ll put rims on anything- we’d even put rims on a toaster if we could- “Those are 20 inch rims on my toaster biaatch!” We even have spinners that make the car look like its moving even when its standing still- “FUCK its STILL spinning!”

Arnold Swartzenagger is the Governor of California. That is some fucked up shit. Dude can’t even play a smart guy in a fucking movie- how the fuck is he gonna be governor?!