Timmy- Age 5
Using Age Elapsing Computer technology we take a glimpse at Timmy's future.
Timmy- Age 32
-Lives in his parents basement
-Answers only to the name "Pika-Blu"
Here we have kids that are in grade 10 and can't even fucking read and write at a Grade 5 level… and you know what I blame? Pokemon… that fucking yellow blob of shit showed up on televisions across North America and left children mesmerized. With the introduction of Pokemon it was no longer necessary to write dialogue for a cartoon. Those insanely genius Japanese Nintendo fuckers decided that they would make the characters talk by repeating variations of their own fucking name... what the fuck? I tune in and for 5 minutes I'm listening to this yellow piece of shit say... pika-pika-pika-chu-chu-chu-chu-chu-pi-chu-ka!!! You know the Japanese are laughing their asses off at how stupid we have become... laughing all the way to the bank.
You know what? Back in the days cartoons had depth... like Jem and the holograms... those motherfucking Misfits were always trying to get the best of them, but Jem would always lead the Holograms to playing their best show and defeating those whores... and remember GI Joe? They talked about taking down the evil regime of Cobra Commander and Serpentor.... but now what? Kids are sitting in front of the idiot box now more than ever... and the shows that they have been watching have gotten consistently stupider... in turn making kids consistently stupider... and this is because parents are all to often substituting the television as a babysitter.
At this rate our next generation will never be
able to achieve a stellar scholarly status... fuck... they won't even
be able to get a job cleaning dishes at Denny's...
My solution? Parents need to spend more time with
their kids... help them with their problems... Make sure little Timmy
isn't stockpiling ammo in the garage and starting a militia with the neighborhood
kids, stop your kids from sniffing glue and eating lead paint chips...
you want to know why? Because that's wrong? Alright? Do you think we can
do that? Then again, I think it would probably be much simpler just to
hit them in the head with a fucking shovel...